When I see your face
I see the ocean’s blue
I hear Sinatra singin’
1962

Take on my love, dear
Like a bull going for the scarlet
Go break my composed veneer
With a kiss of a gauntlet

What you will never steal
Are the rhymes
That keep me hanging on

I never meant to write you this
All we ever do
Is postpone the curtain call

Everyday, my dad would come and fetch me after school.

I wouldn’t see him right after the bell rang. There’s always this half an hour before I hear my name being called. He would always have a hard time finding me, or at least that what he says. The school isn’t that big so a boy in checkered shorts, screaming “Lord of Vermilion!” at the quadrangle is definitely not hard to miss.

Maybe he’d always see me go out of my classroom right after the bell, and just sit there, watching me do my Ragnarok impersonations with my friends. Maybe he’d has his timer on like when he cooked hard-boiled eggs at home, and would only stand after the half-hour is done. I don’t really know, I never saw him.

“Kevin!”

And I’d go back to my senses, wizard-no-more, and run to him like a hatchling seeing the moon for the first time.

“Kung saan-saan ka na naman nagpupupunta.”

“Nandito lang naman ako lagi, di ba?” I would say, slightly irritated.

There’d be this “of course, you are” look in his eyes, and he would smile, bring out a towel, and dry me of my sweat. I’d always hate that. It was wizard sweat. The sweat of battle. I’d whine, but stop after a few; I guess he just didn’t want me to get sick.

My dad always seemed so happy every time we drove our way home. Like, he was so proud I grew to be a wild spirit. Like, he sees himself in me.

But not that one time.

The thirty minutes weren’t over yet. He didn’t call my name. He came to me. “Shit,” my classmates uttered, and they ran away. My dad didn’t bend down to check on me. He just pulled my hand until we reached the car.

“Bakit ‘di mo sila sinapak?”

I didn’t answer.

“Dapat lumaban ka.”

Yeah, I should’ve fought. But I was no wizard at that time. They were using something else on me, something not magic. It brought my spirit down. I had nothing to do but cry.

“Nung bata ako, bugbog-sarado ‘yung mga gago sa’kin e.”

I didn’t take this into consideration. If he were to be a child in this era, he wouldn’t be a wizard. He’d be one of them jerks, bringing the innocent down. Trust me, I know. He used to tell me stories. And when he described his victims, I’d always find myself in them. They’re probably wizards, that’s why.

After that, everything changed between us.

The banshee was singing
An anthem for the beating hearts
“Never let me go,” the notes were dense
Putting the crowd in a trance

The night was perfect
Concert lights worked with the stars
To illuminate the scenery

“Never let me go,” it was on repeat
I start to doubt my plan
What if she’s not ready?
What if she says no?

Wild was the atmosphere
Monsters surrounded us
But we were monsters, too

I initiated an embrace
From her blind side
Hoping she wouldn’t run
She didn’t

The chords were running out
Measure by measure, they fell
I hope I won’t

I got down on one knee
And brought out a star
She just stared
At the statue that is me

There were hundreds of spirits
But in that moment,
We were the lone subtances

The song kept on going
And so did my palpitation
Just say it
I’m ready for a punch

There was a nod
And a union of flesh and metal
A matrimony was planned
There were no regrets

“Never let me go,” the song was lovely
My wish for Elise,
Uttered from a different mouth

I know you know
About the landslide
How we fell like dominoes;
The incapacity to finish the race
I am done with the piece of my heart
That’s got its tongue stuck out,
Longing for a snowflake
Under the heaven that is her skin

I know my name
Is the usual reason
For the electricity of her plume
But that doesn’t mean I love her
I only pulled her down
Like an anchor with no mercy
Gravity was a laughing child
And Aphrodite is a bitch

I know it’s a gamble,
But maybe the cards are in your favor
Who am I to stop
The wild-hearted child?

Listen, brother
You roll your dice
With a little prayer on the side
And just maybe,

All will go well this time.

I keep on singing
About Luna’s dark side
When her reflected flame
Possesses unknown beauty

I keep on singing
About the mermaid’s envious tears
When her home
Is a wonderful place to be

I keep on singing
About the old brick’s gambling soul
When he’s my framework
And we dream of the same paths

I keep on singing
About the abyss of my being
When I have never felt
So winged in my whole life

I keep on singing
About the avalanche that is love
When it’s undeniably heaven
To feel the warmth of an embrace

I keep on singing
These sad songs I write
A clear evidence
Of bias against the light

I long to be your inner child
Get to know the ghosts
Under your bed
Get to know you better

I hope there’s a devil inside your soul
To cut me off just when the sun rises on my side
I wish you’d hit me with your best shot

You are a star on my windowpane
Just sparkling
But I see the flames
Burn me with your embrace

Kill me softly with a sad lullaby you’ll write ‘bout me
And in return, I’ll sing to you a seasonal love song
But I don’t have to mean a word

I ain’t complacent
This isn’t urgency
For just a kiss
For another lady
The flame is real
But I just wanna fall down
On my knees
And feel what feels to cry

Please, please sing to me
A melody under the seabed life
Hold me tight, then break my heart
I need you to pull me down
I need another lesson on love

“Hear my blues, brother”
I have always told the duke
“Can the star see me?”

Her constellation
Was an alignment where I
Don’t even belong

I was still hoping
Still praying to the last gods
Longing for her light

Caught off guard, I was
By the star-spangled banner
In the midnight hour

Hermes sent the word
The atmosphere was stolen
From me, and from you

The fire’s up and bright
Though I must warn you rashly
Of my enigmatic heart

You put up with the gambling man
But you kept the dice rolling
The troubled, the electric,
And the headstone came down
To you as a curse but you turned it around

You wished to swim with the fishes
But you ended up rolling in the numbers
You could’ve been counting the people of the sea
But instead you’re talking with receipts

You let the sky fall on you
You’re no Atlas, but your arms are strong
I have only my bones to help you out
But I hope that’s enough for now
The sands will fall, and I’ll get bigger
But your energies will reach its limit

The time will come for you to sleep
Safe and sound in the arms of winged beings
I will still be there
Adoring your every antic
Caressing the closet aroma
That heavenly scent on your pillow
Will help the moon’s lullaby

My days will end, if you fly away
Your absence will steal the sun

Let’s savor the summer air,
Woman of the seasons
Emancipate from the old bass drum
Beating, for the sake of your
Never-aging smile

You are forever loved